LLI 63 When Life Interrupts, Do You Fight or Flow?

00:00:00: This is iteration number 63 of the Laos Laoda podcast, iterations on becoming human and

00:00:08: there's a twist here.

00:00:09: Now since recording the last episode, the published episode number 62, something has

00:00:15: happened.

00:00:17: My phone broke and I have recorded another episode 2 after that already.

00:00:24: It's just now that I do not have any access to them.

00:00:29: The screen just shattered.

00:00:30: It's all black out.

00:00:31: I have not saved them in the cloud.

00:00:34: It is locally saved alongside with other notes that I clung to ideas I have not published

00:00:42: or words I have not shared yet in my written iterations.

00:00:47: Now when that happened in the first moment, it was frustrating.

00:00:54: I was sad and we are in this together moving here through this in real time.

00:01:02: What I see is that sometimes we clutter ourselves with information, with ideas, with projections,

00:01:10: with emotions that are archived that we see and that feel important but we do not notice

00:01:19: that it is cluttered and then sometimes just life intervenes and clears the slate for us

00:01:27: so we get the chance to emerge from that.

00:01:35: And that is life and we get challenged and served opportunities that might come in a

00:01:42: very weird gift wrapping.

00:01:44: So I could not say in the first moment is this really a gift?

00:01:49: What will come from here?

00:01:51: The decision is just now to make it a gift, to release my attachment to that pre-recorded

00:01:59: episodes, to the notes that I wanted to publish, that ideas that I had even though it is still

00:02:08: brewing inside of me and we come back to a point here where we very often, even if we

00:02:15: start off in a playful, curious manner, we start to attach ourselves to whatever comes

00:02:22: along the way because we feel good with it.

00:02:25: We feel maybe successful.

00:02:27: We feel like it does make sense and is meaningful to us and unknowingly without our conscious

00:02:35: knowing we attach more and more, we tighten our grip a little more and that's why it hurts

00:02:44: when it's gone.

00:02:47: That's why it hurts when it's gone and it is never about the experience itself.

00:02:51: The experience itself is neutral but it's our response to it.

00:02:58: It is how we feel in our bodies, the first reactions that are physical, that are emotional.

00:03:06: What comes through us, how can we approach it?

00:03:09: Is it more of, "Oh no, I've lost it.

00:03:12: I'm grieving."

00:03:13: Is it more like, "Okay, I want to move on.

00:03:16: Let's just..."

00:03:17: I don't want to feel it.

00:03:20: What is it?

00:03:21: Is it more of a repression of what there is or is it like going forward, attack and

00:03:27: just going on to the next thing?

00:03:32: Now let's encourage ourselves.

00:03:38: I want to encourage you to take these opportunities as, frame them as the opportunities where

00:03:48: you can show up like what you have learned until now because it is all fine when we talk

00:03:55: about it.

00:03:56: In theory, what it means to let go, what it means to be lighthearted, playful and curious.

00:04:05: But if it cannot emerge in the practice of our lives, what is it worth?

00:04:16: And here's where we decide how we respond with everything that we have experienced so

00:04:24: far.

00:04:25: Not by the mind, it does help us.

00:04:28: And here it is that our mind becomes a tool.

00:04:30: But by what we feel in that moment, what is good for us, what is the intuition telling

00:04:40: us.

00:04:41: And it's very tiny.

00:04:43: It is not rationalizing it.

00:04:48: It is not trying to over-explaining it to ourselves, not what makes sense.

00:04:56: But it is learning to take what there is as an experience, take it to you, like for the

00:05:05: opportunity to come home to you and not wander around with your emotional capacity and your

00:05:15: energy and your mental force to try to change things that are out of your control, that

00:05:21: are in the outside.

00:05:23: Okay, here's what we do about the loss of recordings and the hat interruption.

00:05:31: We want to let us interrupt here.

00:05:34: What will happen from now on in this podcast is I will drop the daily commitment even though

00:05:42: when there are daily episodes, I want to, I will, of course, I will publish them.

00:05:49: I started off with daily publishing for two to three months and I've did that.

00:05:55: I've held this promise to myself.

00:05:57: I'm good with that.

00:05:58: It feels good.

00:06:01: And I can now move on and choosing the next iteration of this podcast, not only on the

00:06:11: iterative character of the episodes from episode to episode, but in the sense of this first

00:06:19: set of episodes of the 62 episodes before this one, of the two months before this one.

00:06:34: Can you have the spaciousness for that to let everything emerge what there is and then

00:06:42: to let it flow through you?

00:06:46: And you can only let it flow through you by actually feeling it.

00:06:49: When you try to suppress it, it will come back with much greater force.

00:06:53: When you try to forcibly feel it to like, like now I have to feel it so it goes away,

00:07:01: it is another form of suppression.

00:07:04: When you indulge in it, it will not move anything.

00:07:07: You will just stay in that miserable space, which is very often just becoming miserable

00:07:13: at some point when you cling on to whatever there is.

00:07:17: So letting it flow through you means feeling the feelings and then without attaching to

00:07:26: them.

00:07:29: And then there will come the neutral space and from here, you can decide.

00:07:34: And now here comes this thing.

00:07:37: When we take choices, take decisions and stand fully behind them without being guilty, without

00:07:46: shame, without in that moment, because of course we will evolve.

00:07:52: We will develop ourselves further.

00:07:55: Sometimes it's after a while we look back and say, "Hmm, well from the perspective today,

00:08:03: I probably would have chosen differently, but I know that at that time back then I just

00:08:09: stood fully behind it and it was the best I was.

00:08:14: It was the best version of myself and I evolved.

00:08:18: Can you give yourself so much graciousness and so much compassion also in hindsight and

00:08:26: the conviction and the promise to yourself to stand by you in the moment when you decide,

00:08:36: when you take a choice, when it does not always feel good.

00:08:42: Sometimes it is comfortable, but you will be very clean and neutral from that place

00:08:51: that is in your gut like a certainty, even if times and circumstances are uncertain.

00:09:00: You will know, "No, this is my decision."

00:09:09: And the quicker we can get learning this, get to learning this, like making that gap

00:09:17: smaller from the gap is often rumination, it's overthinking, it's over complicating

00:09:25: it.

00:09:26: It is just making a bigger deal out of it than it is because it is very simple.

00:09:37: Now can we remind us, can we take us back to playfulness, to curiosity, to light-heartedness,

00:09:44: and through the hard moments and that is what this episode stands for.

00:09:52: So I would love for you to be in this with me on this journey.

00:09:59: We are doing this together.

00:10:01: It serves you as a real life example if you want to take it as that and if you don't,

00:10:08: you don't.

00:10:09: It's really that simple.

00:10:11: That is just my offer and I am committed.

00:10:16: I'm committed not to you, not to myself.

00:10:20: I'm committed to what is transmitted to the love that can show through that, to the compassion,

00:10:29: to the kindness that can show through that and for that how it looks like and if you

00:10:38: find pleasure, resonance in it, it is your choice and I fully respect that and I fully

00:10:44: accept that and I can still show my loves through that.

00:10:54: So it is up to you.

00:10:56: It is your life and if there is this part that we're walking together, I feel very

00:11:05: honored, I feel very blessed too and I would love for you to reach out if you want, if

00:11:11: not just keep everything for yourself.

00:11:14: This is my invitation for you today to remind yourself, coming back home to you, to the

00:11:22: light-heartedness and to the bonus of your decisions.

00:11:32: Love a little louder.

00:11:34: Lots of love.

00:11:35: Shang.

00:11:35: Shan.

00:11:36: [BLANK_AUDIO]