LLI 58 The Love Declaration – Building a Business Rooted in Devotion, Not Dominance

00:00:00: A coach once told me, "Building a business is a love declaration to oneself."

00:00:08: To be honest, at that time when I heard that, I did not have any idea what it means.

00:00:17: And still, I am not sure because what is a love declaration?

00:00:22: It is just, first of all, words making something public, but then what does it mean?

00:00:31: For where does it stem from and is there commitment to it?

00:00:37: That all contributes to that declaration, where it is decided if it's just a declaration

00:00:46: or it is a lived love and embodied business, something that comes into life.

00:00:55: We read iteration number 58 of the Love Louder podcast, "Iterations on Becoming Human."

00:01:03: Here's the thing, if we put the lens of getting to know each other, relationship over it,

00:01:10: of course it starts like that, we get an idea of a business.

00:01:16: We flirt with it, we are not sure yet, we approach it and then we turn away again,

00:01:24: we keep eye contact sometimes and then we decide to go on dates, on dating,

00:01:31: and then we decide to be a little further in it.

00:01:37: The question is, do we marry it?

00:01:40: Are we as committed to what is our business as we are committed in our relationship?

00:01:49: Now, all of a sudden, of course, here we are at the intersection.

00:01:55: Again, what is your commitment?

00:02:01: Worth, worth in the sense of what do the words you speak mean in the action.

00:02:13: And while this is a lot of building a masculine energy kind of structure for yourself,

00:02:20: where you can start to trust yourself, where you can start to know that when you say something you follow through,

00:02:29: where you can then lean in to let it flow, because very often it is this structure that gives us the freedom to explore, to be creative,

00:02:45: to evolve and it means also for the relationship that we get to know each other more when we say,

00:02:53: "Okay, we're in it. Let's see what will become of us. Let's see what will become of you and of me,"

00:03:03: because it's always this three-party venture then when we're in a relationship.

00:03:10: It's not just two persons coming together.

00:03:13: There's a third entity that is built and the same thing happens with business.

00:03:20: There's the business idea and there's you and it's your evolution and the evolution of the business.

00:03:26: And yet, it creates a dynamic of what is not the business itself, but like a third entity.

00:03:39: And I believe it is in this direction that the coach that I mentioned earlier meant it.

00:03:47: It is a love declaration and you cannot just dip your toes in and then leave when you say you want to be committed.

00:03:59: But here's the thing.

00:04:01: What I have seen with many emerging business owners and colleagues and from the formation and the trainings that I've done

00:04:17: and also in myself and with friends too, sometimes we're so caught up in what we've learned that we lose out of sight the heart of it.

00:04:31: It translates like that. We get an idea which is logically perfect.

00:04:36: It fits a niche. It fits a gap in the market. There would be customers and we do the marketing.

00:04:43: We do all of our homework. We learn it all. We do the strategies and the tactics and it's very well curated.

00:04:51: And then it just burns down.

00:04:56: We put so much effort into it in the beginning just to find out maximum half a year later that it is not sustainable.

00:05:05: It is building it by force and it's the same thing that happens in relationships.

00:05:11: When we try to force our view onto the other person how it needs to be done,

00:05:19: but only because that's how we think it is supposed to go without being connected to what moves us, to be curious what moves them.

00:05:37: It's very likely that we will not be able to build that connection that then leads to further commitment.

00:05:46: We burn out. We burn out in the attempt of "Please, pick me. Please see me. Please buy from me. Please be with me."

00:06:01: So we start chasing something that is just a fantasy of our hours.

00:06:08: A construct of the mind which is not grounded in our heart and our soul.

00:06:17: Not sustainable.

00:06:20: And while that can work, it's not...

00:06:25: If you're here listening to this podcast, it's not only about the accomplishment for you.

00:06:31: You want to be full-full too.

00:06:32: You want to feel the ease possible, the flow possible in just being you,

00:06:39: being creative, letting the creative force flowing through you

00:06:43: and not by just following a formula that was given to you by someone who does not know you at all

00:06:51: but says that's the right way to do it without actually looking where you are, who you are.

00:07:00: And while there are certain formalities, certain strategies and structures that are not common but like

00:07:11: encompassing the venture of a business that can be used,

00:07:18: it's always filling it with your own energy, with your essence.

00:07:30: And that's what makes it sustainable.

00:07:31: That's where what nobody can teach you, first of all, and nobody tells you.

00:07:40: Because what is sold then is the quick fix, and we do not want the quick fix,

00:07:47: because the quick fix is likely to burn us out.

00:07:51: We can be successful superficially, but crumbling inside.

00:08:01: So do we really want that kind of a business that depletes us?

00:08:06: And also it's hard to stay, to be staying committed to it,

00:08:10: because the moment it gets hard, it is not connected to what we feel is meaningful.

00:08:28: And the same thing is for the relationship.

00:08:31: When it gets tough, we have to remind ourselves of the beginning,

00:08:37: why we started it, what is important to us, where we can find a common ground.

00:08:46: And that is what carries us through us.

00:08:49: That's where we expand our capacity, our openness of our hearts to let be what is,

00:08:59: and to be learning, to be leading ourselves through it, to be sitting with it,

00:09:07: to be staying and not just quitting, to not just give up with the first challenge that we face.

00:09:20: And it is indeed a kind of giving up, but it's giving up the expectations that we had before.

00:09:31: And I want this here to evolve into a business that is not grounded in dominance,

00:09:39: in the strategy and the logic, alone.

00:09:45: In the market authority alone, in the certificates, in the testimonials alone,

00:09:56: I want this to be grounded in devotion.

00:10:06: And when you can devote yourself to being of service,

00:10:12: with what comes naturally through you, to be just making way for that what comes through you,

00:10:26: you enter a space where everything is possible, not out of excitement,

00:10:31: not out of desire, not out of this longing that is all very painful in the end

00:10:37: and keeps us suffering, but out of a place of certainty, of neutrality,

00:10:43: and then you will be able to disconnect that what you're doing from the result.

00:10:50: You will be able to enjoy it now already without having the result.

00:10:56: And isn't that cool?

00:11:00: You are able then to disconnect it from the notion that I have to make it successful as soon as I can now,

00:11:10: because else I failed.

00:11:14: And while failure, the perceived failure is part of this process

00:11:19: and entrepreneurship is quite a school for self-development.

00:11:28: We will be there from a neutral space.

00:11:33: We will see it not as a failure in itself, we will see it as a step in learning.

00:11:39: So you will be disconnected from the result.

00:11:43: You will be able to handle it with more ease and more grace,

00:11:50: to be more graceful towards yourself, while you can also check the numbers of course

00:11:56: and the metrics of the results, but you're not as attached to them anymore.

00:12:01: And at the same time, it is valid for time.

00:12:05: You do not have to achieve it now or never.

00:12:11: Like in the next set of days, months,

00:12:18: you take off the pressure because you know that you build something

00:12:23: that is only for you meant to be built.

00:12:27: It can only come through you.

00:12:31: There's no one else that is channeling this.

00:12:34: There's just you and your unique expression of it.

00:12:40: Going through the iterations and it will never be finished until you die

00:12:46: and then you'll go and that is your life's work

00:12:51: and it will be a relief because you know there will be always something to be solved.

00:12:57: There will be always something to be improved, to be better at.

00:13:02: And you will see it as just part of being human, on becoming more human.

00:13:15: It doesn't eat you up anymore, the whole business thing, the whole relationship thing

00:13:21: because that is just a part of your humanness.

00:13:26: And we can get and be grateful for that, to be experiencing it.

00:13:34: To be finding our way until we realize that we are on our way, on our journey, all alone, long

00:13:44: and we do not have to wait to enjoy it until there is a certain result coming

00:13:51: that we can enjoy it now.

00:13:56: And what would it mean to devote ourselves in that way to life, to business, to a relationship?

00:14:05: To stay even in the faces of not knowing.

00:14:09: [silence]

00:14:17: That is what I invite us and you for today.

00:14:23: Wherever you go, whatever you do, just see.

00:14:30: Is that what you're doing?

00:14:33: Where is it grounded in?

00:14:35: Is it more in dominance or in devotion?

00:14:41: Love a little louder.

00:14:44: Become a little more human.

00:14:48: Embrace your current iteration.

00:14:52: Shang.