LLI 52 The Temptation to Niche: When Specialization Costs Connection

00:00:00: How much can we specialize without losing sight of what is essential, without losing

00:00:07: sight of the golden path of the middle of that which connects us all?

00:00:14: This is iteration number 52 of the Love Louder podcast and it is actually a continuation

00:00:20: of the previous two ones.

00:00:23: So we have heard an insight of metrics, of vanity metrics and how to cut out dead wood

00:00:29: to not distract ourselves.

00:00:32: Now I want to share with you, like very exploratively in this episode to what is going on for me

00:00:40: right now in this stage in the season of iterations.

00:00:44: What I feel is there is something new coming up, something new emerging that wants to show

00:00:52: and it means specializing more.

00:00:57: It means bringing it down even more from that realm of truth of infinite potential to into

00:01:09: something more tangible while this podcast of course it's tangible because you can listen

00:01:15: to it.

00:01:16: Yet I am still finding meandering, oscillating around a topic I want to work with, led from

00:01:29: excitement, led from curiosity, led from joy too.

00:01:35: And at the same time what I face is, according to my experience, it is extremely possible

00:01:44: or extremely likely that we start specializing ourselves in a certain topic, in a certain

00:01:52: area of interest, of our knowledge, of our experience too and then we lose sight.

00:02:02: We lose the connection to other areas.

00:02:04: We stop communicating with what is also connected to it.

00:02:14: Let's say for example it is really, I had been working in a very highly specialized job,

00:02:21: it was in air traffic business so this alone it's a niche on its own.

00:02:28: Then like the work of an air traffic controller, it's just basically very simple task, you

00:02:35: talk with pilots and your job is to keep the planes and the aircraft with a certain distance

00:02:43: to each other so they don't meet each other in the air.

00:02:48: That's it and it is highly specialized and that's what happens when we choose, very

00:02:54: often choose, a profession.

00:02:58: We find a job and then we learn everything about it.

00:03:03: We learn the techniques, the methods, we learn what is important, we learn all the skills

00:03:08: that are connected to it and we lose sight of what there is to, like besides of it and

00:03:17: then we just try to push it out into when we have free space, into the area of hobbies,

00:03:24: into that what sometimes we call our life while the other one is work.

00:03:31: This is a distinction that is just not very useful.

00:03:36: It's a whole misunderstanding.

00:03:38: When you work, this is your life too.

00:03:40: Work-life balance does not mean that you have on one part work and on the other part life

00:03:46: and you're balancing it out like on a scale with two different things, it's the same thing,

00:03:51: it's the exact same thing.

00:03:54: You spend your life working and enjoying and doing other things and it's just work is part

00:04:03: of life.

00:04:04: It cannot be distinct like something else, it cannot be something else.

00:04:14: What I fear right now is to specialize, to say this is it, this is the one topic I want

00:04:20: to dive into, I want to learn everything about it.

00:04:25: Specialize, infuse it with what I know with, explore it even more and leaving other things

00:04:31: on the side and that is just a habit that is also an imprint of how we learned that we

00:04:39: are supposed to work, that how we learned how we are supposed to build our business.

00:04:47: And while everything has its own place, every season it is really important to commit ourselves

00:05:01: for this season we're in right now and to get it down to earth and that is a call for

00:05:09: you and a call for me too.

00:05:13: You can see like this is going on a little bit of a struggle.

00:05:17: I just want to share this with you because this is very common and it is also that moment

00:05:28: of we do not know yet.

00:05:31: It's a moment of when we know very well what is the normal thing, what you should and shall

00:05:38: be doing as in society tells us to specialize because then we can get more seen, we have

00:05:46: to niche down, we have to really take one topic for when we're in business building

00:05:52: one specific topic now, you can niche down as much as you will and all of a sudden when

00:05:59: you just do it obsessively too much you end up with marketing to single moms with hula

00:06:09: dancing hamsis in Hawaii.

00:06:14: Now it is a niche yes but is it like meaningful?

00:06:18: Is it like does it make sense in a way that contributes to life?

00:06:23: I don't know like if you have that niche please reach out to me.

00:06:27: I want to know I'm so curious.

00:06:30: Look here's the thing we have to dare to specialize.

00:06:36: We have to dare to get really concrete about what we're doing on the base of who we are

00:06:44: being to show up as we're here like this is where I'm at right now.

00:06:51: I don't have anything ready right now for this episode.

00:06:55: We are sharing here a moment of breakthrough too and not a breakthrough in the classical

00:07:04: sense as in hey there was something really hard and then boom I emerged out of it and

00:07:13: broke through and then everything was all rosy and here's my story and this is where

00:07:17: you can learn from it and that's why I'm great and here by my product.

00:07:22: This is not what we're doing we're in this here together and it is also to show that

00:07:28: it's not about showing the best sides only it's showing the results only it's about

00:07:37: the iterative process in itself where you can show up with the leadership with that

00:07:43: intimacy that also means intimacy in regards you with yourself that is a erotic leadership

00:07:50: that is the leadership of love too it is not something ethereal it is not something abstract

00:07:57: it's not something that is just in the clouds and cannot be used in your practical life

00:08:02: it is used now in any moment when you're insecure and when you're uncertain can you stay there

00:08:13: because the temptation is now to run to run to run to run to run away or run towards it

00:08:23: in attempt to make it go away so we're gonna stay here we're gonna explore and what I find

00:08:29: is there are two themes emerging like we are evolving in this podcast we move from a very

00:08:38: broad taking action from that idea flowing through us from truth from God we talked about

00:08:44: God there was a season about God and then what emerged was leading like a lover and loving

00:08:51: like a leader and then there was this piece of erotic leadership added and it is all infused

00:08:57: here it does not mean that it hasn't been here before when I have not talked about it

00:09:04: now you can see everything that you do it is already there it's just about you finding

00:09:09: the clarity finding the words for it and it doesn't happen by thinking it happens by

00:09:16: exploring yourself in the practical life it's by putting yourself out there so what we're

00:09:25: touching on often times is business and relationship which is exactly what I in my experience have

00:09:37: seen that are tied so close together because they're all connected with the leadership

00:09:45: that you can embody the self leadership.

00:09:48: That's what it means to love like a leader and to lead like a lover.

00:09:55: To be soft, to be tender when you are not in the mood for it.

00:10:03: When you want to lash out, when you have a hard moment, a moment of tension in your relationship,

00:10:08: but also in your business.

00:10:10: And to lead from your heart in business because what I see is business lacks love.

00:10:20: So we are here to infuse business with love and it does look unconventional.

00:10:27: And when you tune in for the first time, for the second time, for the third time, it might

00:10:31: look like it doesn't make sense.

00:10:33: I don't know where this is leading.

00:10:36: Look, this is how life goes.

00:10:38: This is a real time model.

00:10:41: This is taken directly out of life.

00:10:45: We don't wake up and say one morning and say like, everything is cool.

00:10:50: Like here's my genius and that's what I bring into the world and everything is ready.

00:10:55: No, this is not what life is and it would be boring, wouldn't it?

00:11:02: If you were given everything that you wanted right now, would you be able to do it?

00:11:08: Would you be able to receive?

00:11:10: And where's the story that's connected to it?

00:11:13: Don't we love the stories?

00:11:16: Don't we love to hear the stories of others?

00:11:19: Don't we love to reflect on our own story, to look back and say, wow, how amazing is that

00:11:27: that I put myself out there that I went into onto this adventure that I would not have thought?

00:11:36: It's a misconception.

00:11:45: While I am really for excellence, I love mastering things.

00:11:51: I love following the curiosity.

00:11:53: I love diving deep and playing and learning and just exploring and extracting the skills

00:12:03: that we can learn and that come through us and that can all just be like we can use as

00:12:11: a human being that we can are able to choose and to act and to play and to be creative with.

00:12:21: I love that.

00:12:27: My hypothesis is the more you can enjoy these experiences, the more you let yourself drop

00:12:38: into them.

00:12:40: The question after the question of your purpose lets you go.

00:12:45: You will not ask yourself again, what's my purpose?

00:12:49: Because you are so busy enjoying life.

00:12:51: You are so busy contributing to being of service, not necessarily because you have pinned it

00:12:59: down in a one sentence pitch that you could tell someone in an elevator in 90 seconds.

00:13:04: No, it's because you are the lived experience.

00:13:13: And to this lived experience, it is also part to be in moments that are tender, that are

00:13:22: uncertain, that are a breakthrough where you want to do something about it and wanted to

00:13:28: make it go away.

00:13:36: It's the same thing like after a breakup, actually, a relationship.

00:13:42: What is over is over, but you do not know what is here to come yet.

00:13:51: It's not even about picking up the puzzles and the pieces of yourself when your heart

00:13:56: is shattered.

00:13:59: That comes after, that's another step after that.

00:14:02: First of all, can you sit with it?

00:14:04: Can you sit with pain?

00:14:06: Can you sit with curiosity?

00:14:09: Can you sit with not knowing what is to come?

00:14:11: Can you sit in that void?

00:14:13: Can you sit in that breakthrough that is disguised because you're so busy with the pain you're

00:14:22: feeling?

00:14:26: Can you sit with it and anticipate already that this is a moment of breakthrough because

00:14:31: usually it is like that.

00:14:33: Usually it's just in hindsight that we understand what happened there.

00:14:39: In hindsight, we know it's a breakthrough.

00:14:41: In hindsight, we know this was a tough time, but really you learned from it.

00:14:45: Now can we take it into the present moment?

00:14:48: Can we pull it closer, pull the future closer to us here right now and be aware that every

00:14:56: moment here is a potential breakthrough if we allow it to?

00:15:00: We cannot force it and that's the paradox.

00:15:03: We cannot force it and we just have to sit with it.

00:15:06: We have to tend it what there is this moment of not being sure wobbly moments too and then

00:15:16: there will something that emerges, a little light inside us that we follow and we keep

00:15:23: on following this light and this light is not just leading us.

00:15:29: It's helping us to lead ourselves.

00:15:31: This is a difference between the explode interaction leadership that just is superficially doing

00:15:49: a lot of things, but on the baseline not changing anything and the leadership that is grounded

00:15:57: in alignment in who you are in intimacy in the motions, the seasons, the phases of life

00:16:07: that is real, that can be touched, that you can feel in your body.

00:16:18: One of those forms of leadership, very prone to burnout.

00:16:24: The other one is actually generating energy for you.

00:16:30: So what do you choose?

00:16:39: And this one too you cannot say like I choose it now and then snap.

00:16:44: I'm already and all here being vulnerable and showing up and knowing what my purpose

00:16:49: is and whatsoever.

00:16:51: Again, this is a trap.

00:16:56: You choose it, but you do not choose it by your mind.

00:17:00: Sometimes it's actually the opposite.

00:17:01: Your mind is very reluctant to it.

00:17:03: It's just something there that pulls you.

00:17:05: You cannot get away from that.

00:17:09: You just have to follow.

00:17:15: And then you embark a journey, a journey of the unknown.

00:17:25: Because what would it be if it was known?

00:17:27: It would just be the repetition of the very known drama because drama can be predicted.

00:17:35: It adds nothing new.

00:17:38: And this is why it's so comfortable and it is why it's so easy to fall into the drama

00:17:43: because it is first, it is practiced very well.

00:17:49: And second, it gives us the comfort of the known.

00:17:55: So here's my invitation for you today.

00:18:02: Welcome the unknown.

00:18:06: Welcome the tenderness in you.

00:18:09: Find your body, find the tension and embrace it just with tenderness, not knowing what

00:18:15: will happen, not making it go away, not applying a technique, not starting to meditate on it,

00:18:20: not doing anything about it, but also not indulging in it.

00:18:28: Find the spot of tension in your body or in your mind.

00:18:32: Find it.

00:18:36: Take a deep breath and just wrap it as you would.

00:18:44: Wrap a good friend in a cozy blanket and give them some tea when they just went through

00:18:51: a hard moment in life, which can be a break, break up, which can be a loss.

00:19:04: Do this to you.

00:19:06: Do this with you.

00:19:08: Be able to sit with yourself with what is the tension there.

00:19:18: And then just stay curious and open with what comes next and give yourself some time with

00:19:27: it.

00:19:31: Lots of love to you.

00:19:32: Love a little louder.

00:19:35: Shaa.

00:19:36: [BLANK_AUDIO]