LLI 45 Why Your Struggle for Identity Might Be Blocking Your Light

00:00:00: Have you ever heard about marble runs?

00:00:03: Today, we will explore what marble runs got to do with that edgy conversation of giving

00:00:10: up individuality to embrace uniqueness.

00:00:15: That paradox, that's so hard to understand for our mind.

00:00:19: Welcome, you beautiful cluster of stardust, to love-louder iterations on becoming human.

00:00:27: We are at iteration number 45.

00:00:32: So my partner and I yesterday, we had a date.

00:00:37: And a date at home that we call our little cinema.

00:00:44: The little cinema is just a place on our couch, which is made very cozy with candlelight,

00:00:51: as soon as our little one got to bed to have some snacks and some drinks ready and to have

00:00:58: it really arranged in a very intentional and loving way.

00:01:06: So I just, my partner just picked me up at the other end of the apartment because I was

00:01:15: riding in another room and then he said, "Hey, it's time.

00:01:22: The little cinema is open."

00:01:25: And then he just picked me there and we walked to our little cinema, those 12 meters or so

00:01:35: together and I got all excited because I was looking forward to the whole day.

00:01:42: And then you got this arrangement of the laptop ready as our cinematic screen because we do

00:01:50: not have any TV nor a beamer.

00:01:53: And then this little setup of candles and snacks and beautifully arranged and you get

00:02:03: the vibe.

00:02:05: And we watched the marble runs.

00:02:09: I was surprised to me, you surprised me with that.

00:02:12: So I got introduced to the marble runs a few years ago by a dear friend of mine that I

00:02:21: was visiting in Berlin and he showed me the marble runs.

00:02:25: And the marble runs, it's basically the Olympic Games but played with marbles.

00:02:35: And it is so fascinating, gets so calming and I'm really amazed at how much fun it is

00:02:46: to watch marbles, teams of marbles competing in different events, really like sports events

00:02:54: with their fans cheering them on in the stadium.

00:02:59: All of it is set up in the video only with marbles and they have their unique colors

00:03:05: for their teams and they have an opening ceremony and there are different groups in the events

00:03:12: and different heats and different competitions and really like everything you got there,

00:03:18: banners for advertisement and the sponsors too and a little workers security got all

00:03:26: of it made out of marbles and something like Legos or something like constructed to build

00:03:37: the tracks.

00:03:39: So that's basically it.

00:03:41: If you want to look it up, I really recommend it.

00:03:45: It's called the channel on YouTube, it's called Yellows Marble Runs and it's easily,

00:03:54: you can easily find it when you just put it in the search bar.

00:03:58: So I showed my husband then shortly after that, he too, he got so amazed and it was

00:04:08: so much fun to watch.

00:04:09: So he surprised me yesterday to our little cinema date.

00:04:14: So we sat there and watched the marbles run via our little one was sleeping.

00:04:21: And the interesting thing is just like a competition, they had a clock, they had like time, times

00:04:31: stopped and different laps and everything documented or even replays and slow motion.

00:04:39: Now, the funny thing is, even if it was the same starting point, the same track, the same

00:04:50: circuit and there were many repetitions throughout one event just for the different teams.

00:04:59: I think there are 16 teams or so.

00:05:05: Times were never the same.

00:05:09: How the marbles, those little glass spheres got through the track, it was never the same.

00:05:19: What does that have to do with this podcast and becoming human?

00:05:29: We sometimes, we tend to emphasize so much our individuality, especially when we try

00:05:37: to make sense out of it with our human mind, with our rationality, that we really think

00:05:48: it is our 100% responsibility to have it all under control, every result under control,

00:05:58: that everything can be influenced by us.

00:06:03: And it's a human notion of craziness, of craziness of grandeur.

00:06:20: And even when we are with ourselves, just being with ourselves in a track, in a path

00:06:29: that we go on, that we embark on, we expect the same results over and over again because

00:06:34: we expect to have the same circumstances and the same effort we put in.

00:06:44: Not consciously probably, but unconsciously.

00:06:48: And then we will see different results and when marbles can show us that they can go

00:06:54: through a track, every single time they go through a track, it is coming out a different

00:07:02: time and it's marbles, it's spheres of glass, it's not even a living organism.

00:07:12: How can we expect a living breathing organism to be constantly the same all the time?

00:07:23: And also, how can we fall into the trap of us having everything under control, that it

00:07:38: is us contributing to the results?

00:07:42: You are never creating for yourself alone.

00:07:49: You are never creating from your own power alone.

00:07:54: There's always the life force, creation, God, truth acting out through you.

00:08:03: You are the channel for the materialization.

00:08:09: And that is what is loving louder is about.

00:08:15: It's opening up your channel to bring in the world what only can come through you.

00:08:25: That is when you give up your individuality, that means your mind, your ego, your perception,

00:08:33: your preconception of what you think how things should be, how they are supposed to be, to

00:08:42: open yourself up what wants to flow through you just because you are that bridge, that

00:08:54: bridge from the abstract.

00:08:55: to the concrete. Because you are the pen and the pencil and the writer and the author and the paper

00:09:06: and everything at the same time the whole idea. And if we start, if we tend to this idea of

00:09:17: individuality too much that we're only this person, this human form, it limits ourselves.

00:09:25: We reduce ourselves to the human form, which is just the form. So we mix it up.

00:09:37: What we are in essence, pure consciousness, with that what it looks like that we are.

00:09:46: Let that land, we mix up what and who we are, the essence, the pure consciousness with what it looks like

00:10:06: that we are. And that is what it means to give up your individuality to surrender yourself

00:10:15: fully to relax your body fully to life to creation.

00:10:21: That is through letting this go you will receive full abundance of life.

00:10:35: Everything that is meant for you coming through you, that is where your uniqueness will shine

00:10:44: through your light will radiate out into the world without you forcing it. That is the true power

00:10:53: that is lying in there and you and every human being and every human becoming, which is just the

00:11:00: external, the superficial look that we are becoming because this is how the world operates.

00:11:16: And when you get that, it's you can easily see how not just the human form is deceived

00:11:28: but also you are not only the human form, you are everything. You are your thoughts, your

00:11:35: emotions, you are the neighbor, you are the colleague, you are the one listening and the listener

00:11:44: to this podcast, to everything. You are the sounds around you, you are the fabric on your skin,

00:11:53: you are the ideas, you are everything, everything. When we suffer it's often that we over identify

00:12:05: with one single aspect of creation. You know, maybe you have heard that it comes from

00:12:16: consciousness work too, that you are not your thoughts, which is true in the first place. So you

00:12:25: do not get entangled too much with your thoughts. It's a measure to lead you, to guide you, to be

00:12:37: free of your thoughts not by eliminating them but by being able to see that these are just

00:12:44: clouds passing by, that you let go, start to let go of the attachment to your thoughts.

00:12:53: That's where it stems from, you are not your thoughts. And ultimately,

00:12:57: where do the thoughts come from? Who is hearing?

00:13:07: Creation is all around us and in us. Everything here is creation, it's truth, it's God, it's

00:13:22: pure consciousness. Everything that we see, that we can touch, that we can taste, that we feel,

00:13:28: that is all a form, that is an expression of that. Even the thoughts we have, even the emotion,

00:13:38: the pleasant ones, the unpleasant ones, even the desire that we feel, even the pain and the suffering

00:13:48: that we feel. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it. Once you've experienced it, there will be

00:14:07: that memory ingrained in not just your brain but in your being.

00:14:13: And we still, of course, we get tempted by our mind and our ego because it's hard working for

00:14:27: our survival, that means the survival of the "I", of the "you", of the illusion of separation,

00:14:36: of the ego itself. So, as soon as we step into that realm, that everything is everything,

00:14:44: that we are pure consciousness, that God is in us and we are in God, that we are God,

00:14:51: it gets scared, it just fights for its life. It starts ruminating, your mind will start ruminating,

00:15:05: questioning everything, it will get flooded with thoughts and emotions and fears and even

00:15:15: desires, even the longing. These are two, these are part of the mind and they are part of life.

00:15:23: Again, so we come back to grace because that too is giving yourself grace to embrace that humanity

00:15:33: of yours, to embrace that form while letting go of it, while not being caught up and entangled in it.

00:15:42: Not necessarily if you wish to, again, you have the choice.

00:15:47: And that is the point, you have the choice.

00:15:55: And here's where your uniqueness will shine through in this choice, where you will get

00:16:10: surprised by life again and again and again, where you will get surprised by yourself again and again

00:16:18: and again, where you start living and stop dying, which is ultimately the same.

00:16:28: To fully live, we have to face death and to die, we have to face life.

00:16:46: This is an invitation, a call, a wake up to uniqueness, to pure consciousness, to essence,

00:17:01: to what wants to flow through you. Because I know, even if I do not know you,

00:17:11: there's something that only you can bring into the world because you are given ideas

00:17:17: how you can approach life through this form.

00:17:24: That is what it means, what it means to become human, to love louder,

00:17:37: and to love like a leader.

00:17:41: Lots of love to you.

00:17:45: Hear you tomorrow, Shang.